Feminism started out as a revolutionary idea, promoting equal rights for women but soon started getting more hate than support, especially from Indian men, and we can see why. Feminism may be the need of the hour in India, but the way it has been interpreted by the so called ‘feminists’ speaks a whole new language. Women need to understand what feminism really is about, as much as us men. Because the way they’re dealing with it is causing more harm than good. Feminism may be a noble concept, but what matters, eventually is the way it is being carried out. Here are 10 ways in which some Indian women have totally ruined feminism for everyone in the country.
1. The fight for equality goes for a toss the moment a woman demands reservation. Yes, they’ve been oppressed for ages. Yes, they don’t have equal rights yet. Yes, they’re not safe but by taking the reserved seat in public transport, they’re only alienating themselves even more from men. The reserved seat doesn’t make men respect a woman, it instead sends out a message that she is weak, incapable and incompetent. We all understand why pregnant women, physically challenged and old people need reserved seats – they’re physically weaker, more vulnerable (for the lack of better words) than the rest of us. But there’s no reason why a woman needs to be given a reserved seat or a whole coach in the Delhi metro. A stronger security system instead makes so much more sense. We need to teach men how to stay with women, not staying away from them.
2. There’s a way of saying everything. The more you shout the less you’ll be heard. And, that’s exactly where a lot of feminists have gone wrong. The only way we can make people understand the importance and relevance of women empowerment in the country is by discussion, not by shutting them nastily on social media. The so called ‘feminist’ outburst has been so aggressive lately; most people don’t even consider discussing women empowerment and thus, opening their minds towards it isn’t a good idea anymore, for the fear of being targeted. We need to make people realize how patriarchal they are in their mindset, even if subconsciously, but with convincing arguments, not insults.
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3. One of the main reasons why a lot of men don’t find feminism a genuine ‘revolution’ is because a considerably large amount of women who identify themselves as feminists switch sides as per their convenience. They want to be equal but they also want the sympathy of being a woman. They want to be given equal opportunities but don’t want to work as hard as a man. It just brings a bad name to the idea of women empowerment.
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4. There’s a lot it takes to call a woman empowered, especially in India. But, feminists today have their priorities wrong. Yes, there are people fighting against female foeticide and lack of education for women and some even more important issues. But issues like ‘why should I be hiding my bra strap’ and ‘why should I cover my pack of sanitary napkin in black bag’ always take the limelight. While most of them are of course, valid arguments, and important in their own relevance, they do trivialize the movement. And, sometimes, the so-called feminists talk about things that are just unacceptable, be it a woman or a man in question, much like how the ‘My Choice’ video supported infidelity. Cheating on your partner doesn’t empower you. Neither does showing off your bra strap.
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5. Women don’t want to be judged and yet, they paint all men of the country with the same brush. A lot of feminists stereotype all men to be rapists and that’s just ridiculous. Feminism is a fight for equal rights and opportunities for women that both the sexes need to fight together. You cannot insult a whole gender on the basis of a few culprits and expect them to be supportive of the movement.
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6. Feminism has become a fad more than a revolution. It is cool to be a feminist and you’re liberated only if you’re wearing the tiniest clothes, partying till late, being a rebel for no reason and working late hours in the office. And any woman who doesn’t fall into this particular definition of empowerment is looked at with either pity and sympathy or just hate. There are women who are housewives by choice, but most feminists fail to understand this. Any woman whose choices in life happen to be even slightly ‘conventional’ is judged and how!
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7. That feminists hate men is a common belief. We would love to claim that it’s just a myth but going by how feminists have turned out to be in this country, we must admit there is definitely some truth to it. It is saddening to see how misandry is being spread in the name of feminism. Not all men are rapists. A lot of us are as supportive of women empowerment as women themselves, but it is always assumed that anything with a penis deserves all the hate. There’s a very visible wave of distrust and hostility towards men today.
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8. It is almost like Indian women are constantly judging men, keeping a close eye on everything they do. Some women have the ability to find sexism in the most innocent of gestures. It is perfectly okay to crack a joke on men but the moment you crack one on women, you’re insulted by the so called feminists! Men are ill treated for being chauvinists when all they’re really being is nice. Chivalry might root back to patriarchy but a lot of us offer to pay the bill only because we want to be nice on a date, not because we think women are inferior. A lot of us offer to pay the bill even with our male friends, once in a while, you know.
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9. Crimes against men are increasing every day. Most rape and dowry cases registered in India are false. There are already a lot of laws biased towards women and there have been quite a few instances of women misusing them. Now, that doesn’t justify that we don’t need women empowerment in the country. We really do, but it wouldn’t hurt women to agree that not all women are oppressed and that crime has no gender. But feminists just don’t acknowledge that there are women who misuse laws and cheat men in the name of women empowerment. Not that acknowledging the truth would change anything, but it would definitely build the trust factor between the two genders.
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10. If you wish to end patriarchy, matriarchy is not the solution but most feminists fail to understand that. They don’t want equal rights anymore; they want supremacy over men which just doesn’t make sense. Two wrongs never make a right. If feminism has to be made effective, feminists need to start looking for a valid solution, instead of just finding ways to get back at men.
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